*Stressssss*

Well -
First off, I am stressed about my grandmother... I know that she is really sick and I wish that there was something that I could do to make her feel better... My aunt took her to the doctor the other day, and although it had already been decided that she would not be able to continue on with chemo, my aunt asked the Dr. whether it might be possible. The doctor didn't answer my aunt, but instead turned to my grandmother and asked her whether she wanted to have chemo again.... to which my grandmother answered a definitive "no". Then my aunt asked if she could at least take the chemo pill again. Once again, the doctor didn't answer, but instead turned to my gram and asked her whether she wanted to take the chemo pill again... to which my grandmother answered a definitive "no". I guess it's a good thing that she is not going to put herself through the torture of chemo anymore, but it is still sad to know that there is no chance for her to recover, and that it is time for us to begin looking into palliative care.

I really need to go and visit her this weekend, and bring her some of the goodies that I know she loves: coconut covered date balls, a smoothie, needhams... and hopefully I will have the time to make some vegetable soup for her, I know she likes that.

My aunt also keeps asking my mom why I'm not visiting my gram as much... but I guess it's hard for me to deal with it. It becomes too real to me when I see her. I don't want to remember her as being sick, I want to remember her for the amazingly strong women that she is. I want to remember all of the funny stories that she told me when I was growing up. She made so many mistakes, but when she told me the stories... they always made me want to make the same ones, because she put such a positive spin on them. Like the time she drove the car into the basket ball hoop... I'm sure it wasn't funny at the TIME, but it sure is funny NOW when she tells the story. I am going to go and visit her this weekend... I AM.

Second - I cannot STAND this woman that I work with. She has actually been fired, but she is still here because my boss was nice enough to let her stay until she finds a new job. Or at least she WAS going to stay until she finds a new job... as of last week my boss decided that it would be best if she left at the end of the month. I completely agree with this decision, as she is making things very difficult here... for both Melissa and myself. She wants to be right all the time, and she's so bloody negative. She feels the need to take control of all situations, even ones that have NOTHING to do with her... and nothing makes her happier than when she is making other people feel like shit. It's like working with a jealous 12 year old girl... and I cannot WAIT for her to leave.

On a positive note, I spoke with friend Sarah last night, and we have decided that she will come and visit me in September... YAY!!! If only I could see all of my friends, as I miss you all so much!

Well, I suppose I should start pretending to do work again... but oh gosh does she make it difficult for me to be here....