*Stressssss*

Well -
First off, I am stressed about my grandmother... I know that she is really sick and I wish that there was something that I could do to make her feel better... My aunt took her to the doctor the other day, and although it had already been decided that she would not be able to continue on with chemo, my aunt asked the Dr. whether it might be possible. The doctor didn't answer my aunt, but instead turned to my grandmother and asked her whether she wanted to have chemo again.... to which my grandmother answered a definitive "no". Then my aunt asked if she could at least take the chemo pill again. Once again, the doctor didn't answer, but instead turned to my gram and asked her whether she wanted to take the chemo pill again... to which my grandmother answered a definitive "no". I guess it's a good thing that she is not going to put herself through the torture of chemo anymore, but it is still sad to know that there is no chance for her to recover, and that it is time for us to begin looking into palliative care.

I really need to go and visit her this weekend, and bring her some of the goodies that I know she loves: coconut covered date balls, a smoothie, needhams... and hopefully I will have the time to make some vegetable soup for her, I know she likes that.

My aunt also keeps asking my mom why I'm not visiting my gram as much... but I guess it's hard for me to deal with it. It becomes too real to me when I see her. I don't want to remember her as being sick, I want to remember her for the amazingly strong women that she is. I want to remember all of the funny stories that she told me when I was growing up. She made so many mistakes, but when she told me the stories... they always made me want to make the same ones, because she put such a positive spin on them. Like the time she drove the car into the basket ball hoop... I'm sure it wasn't funny at the TIME, but it sure is funny NOW when she tells the story. I am going to go and visit her this weekend... I AM.

Second - I cannot STAND this woman that I work with. She has actually been fired, but she is still here because my boss was nice enough to let her stay until she finds a new job. Or at least she WAS going to stay until she finds a new job... as of last week my boss decided that it would be best if she left at the end of the month. I completely agree with this decision, as she is making things very difficult here... for both Melissa and myself. She wants to be right all the time, and she's so bloody negative. She feels the need to take control of all situations, even ones that have NOTHING to do with her... and nothing makes her happier than when she is making other people feel like shit. It's like working with a jealous 12 year old girl... and I cannot WAIT for her to leave.

On a positive note, I spoke with friend Sarah last night, and we have decided that she will come and visit me in September... YAY!!! If only I could see all of my friends, as I miss you all so much!

Well, I suppose I should start pretending to do work again... but oh gosh does she make it difficult for me to be here....

*Malaysia & Eating Beetles*

Well, the Malay planning has been taking up a lot of our (my) time, but we have managed to get all of our hotels booked.

Our schedule looks like this:

16 October - 20 October ~ Kuala Lumpor ~ Swiss Garden Hotel (in Chinatown)
20 October - 24 October ~ Taman Negara National Park ~ Mutiara Taman Negara Resort
24 October - 27 October ~ Palau Tioman Island ~ Minang Cove Resort
27 October - 30 October ~ Singapore ~ Perak Hotel (in Little India)

Staying in the Perak Hotel should be great since it's in Little India and we'll be there during Deepavali, the Indian Festival of Lights! Here is a photo of Little India in Singapore lit up for Deepavali!























I've purchased a new pack: Mountainsmith Recycled Trillium Internal Frame Pack

Features:
- Load Dispersion Technology Suspension
- Independently adjustable shoulder straps with dual density foam
- Elastic sternum strap and bite valve catch
- Molded foam back panel
- Pivoting waist belt w/ dual density foam & HDPE sheet
- 4 load adjusters for load dispersion
- Collared storm shield with draw cord closure
- 4 compression straps w/ quick-release hardware
- Detachable day pack that is hydration compatible
- U-shaped zippered access into the main compartment
- Dual ice axe loops with daisy chain rigging points
- Separate sleeping bag compartment
- Sleeping pad compression straps
- Hydration compatible with dual exit ports
- Trekking pole mounts
Product Details:
- 150d Recycled PET rip stop lining
- 840d Recycled PET reinforcements
- 450d Recycled PET body fabric
- 100% Recycled PET webbing and binding
- Bar tack reinforcements
- Twin T6 1” 6061 concave aluminum stays

Specifications:
Dimensions: 27.5'' x 13'' x 14'' 70 x 33 x 36cm
Weigh:t 4 lbs. 7 oz. 2.13 kg
Volume: 2929 cu. in. 48 L
Fit Range: 15'' - 19'' 38 - 48 cm

My parents got me some sweet binos for my birthday: Nikon Monarch 10x42 Binoculars

* 100% waterproof and fogproof

* Ultra-rugged rubber-armor design

* Precision-aligned optics for viewing

* Extended eye relief and center focus

* Fully multicoated lenses for bright, clear images


I'm really excited about the whole thing, and the idea that Maria is trying to go along with us, it should be pretty great!!! Yay Holiday in Malay!!

___________________________________

In other news:

On Saturday, when A and I were eating our lunch of knäckebröd with roasted pear, goat cheese and toasted almonds, we both started to see these tiny insects scurrying around on our plates. After a few minutes, we realized that they were tiny beetles, and that they were coming from INSIDE the knäckebröd. For those of you who have not had knäckebröd before, it is full of tiny holes, crevases and pockets... perfect for tiny beetles to hide in. EWE...











The beetles turned out to be Sawtoothed Grain Beetles (Orzaephilus surinamensis) which are able to 'saw' right through boxes and bags of prepared foods. For all we knew, they were SWEDISH Sawtoothed Grain Beetles... since we were eating imported knäckebröd!
















Sawtoothed Grain Beetles (Orzaephilus surinamensis)

All I have to say about that is.... ewe. I've brought the buggies to work so that I could identify them (they wern't in my insect book... no surprise, it sucks) and I've been getting quite the reaction to having the little fellows living upon my desk in a vial. They are my new pets... both outside... AND inside my belly... eweeee.

*Kiwi's Life is Such a Drag"

Hello all...

I know, I know... I'm supposed to be better with the blogging... I'm TRYING.

Anyhoo... so I've got an amusing, albeit disgusting, story to share:

Tuesday night, while A and I were watching my new favourite show Wipeout, when our 'sweet' little kitty decided to use the facilities. Upon completion of her 'deposit' she commenced a truly disgusting series of events. Now, I must warn you... ewers! Little Miss Kiwi apparently failed to 'shake off' the poo from her rear, and now there was a HUGE "glob" stuck to her ass. Upon realizing this fact I abruptly shut the bedroom door so that she couldn't hop up onto our bed and leave up something quite different from a mint upon our pillows.


Kiwi must have realized that she was porting some extra 'weight' and she began DRAGGING HER ASS ACROSS THE FLOOR in an effort to dislodge the free-loading poo from her bum. A and I lept to attention and tried to grab her and stop her from A. continuing with her dragging and B. jumping on the couch. She got away though, and began dragging her bum along the floor in the kitchen and along the entire living room. My GOD what a lot of poo!! I don't know how it managed to 'attach' itself in the first place, as there were tread marks across the ENTIRE apartment! Not only was there poooooo ever where, but she had it ALL OVER HER. It was all over her bum and her tail.. it was awful.

A started cleaning up the mess, and I was far to busy laughing uncontrollably at the fact that my cat just used our floor as her own personal toilet tissue. Once A finished cleaning and WASHING the floor, he turned his attentions to kitty. He grabbed her and dragged her into the bathroom ... kicking and meowing all the way, as he was holding her away from his body so as to avoid becoming walking toilet tissue. He went in the bathroom and closed the door and took the cat into the shower and gave her a lovely little bath, complete with a blow dry at the end. That cat was meowing soooo loud, it did NOT enjoy the experience at ALL. Now, all that is funny enough, but A (who never swears) was swearing up a storm the whole time he was doing it! I was practically dieing on the couch.

After about 20 minutes, the door opens and a clean-bummed kitty ran out into the living room, looking VERY happy to be free. A opened the door just a bit, and said "I'm... well, I think I'm going to take my own shower now"... and then he just closed the door and disappeared for the longest shower ever.

Hahaha, ICKY KITTY!!!

*Birthdays Suck*

Well, I hate birthdays... I really, really do. I do NOT need the yearly reminder that I am one year closer to dieing, and that I have managed to live another year without accomplishing any of my goals. I thought I would have taken the GREs by now, and that we would be moving out of state this autumn - so that I could start Graduate School. I am however, still trying to study, although not as often as I would like... and I haven't even had a chance to LOOK at Grad Schools.



It is depressing to know that I will be celebrating yet another birthday here in Maine again next year... and it sucks. I don't have a single friend that lives in this state, so I cannot have a party or go out with friends - and THAT is how you are meant to celebrate your birthday... get obliterated and try to forget that it's happening. I can't go out drinking with A though - he doesn't drink and he would just stare at me... what's the point of that? It's only fun to go out with a group in that respect.



As happy as it makes me that two whole people remembered my birthday - it really bugs me that most people didn't. I don't think I would mind so much if I didn't go out of my way to do my very best to remember all of theirs. I don't know, maybe there are still cards coming in the mail... I sure hope so... but I know that they aren't. The people that I work with - who I told on MONDAY that it was my birthday on Wednesday, didn't even remember. They throw parties for everyone else in the office, but not for me - just one more reason for me to feel like I don't fit in here. This is not the place that I belong, I know this for sure... so maybe it's time that I start looking for a new job here in Maine since I know that I won't be leaving the state anytime soon (b/c of my grandmother).



A did his best to try and make me happy - he bought me a Microsoft Zune MP3 Player, and a beautiful set of Tahitian Pearl earrings... but I guess that gifts don't make up for spending my birthday on my couch watching tv.

I just really hate birthdays!

*Narith and Vathana's Wedding*

This weekend A and I went down to RI for Narith's and Vathana's wedding... and it was so beautiful! I had only been to a few other wedding before, but this one was the best by FAR and the most interesting for sure. It was nice to see them both, and we also got the opportunity to hang out with Pros and Srey for a bit.

It's a weird feeling going to a wedding ... I'm not sure why, but it is a little bit sad. I guess there is that "will I ever be THAT happy" feeling that you get when you see two people totally in love, but also you think that as happy a day as it is for the two of them, it must be a bit sad to know that this day that they have looked forward to forEVER is almost over and they cannot ever do it again. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be HAPPIER for them - and I must admit that I almost cried during the ceremony!

The PREceremony ceremony was even more beautiful - with costumes and traditions.. it was just amazing! Narith look so amazing! I was just glad that I had the opportunity to be a part of their special day! :)

*Updates*

I haven't had much of a chance to write here in a while - things have been rather hectic in my life. My grandmother was diagnosed with malignant, metastatic stage 4 bile duct cancer only a few months back - and it seems like it has been one piece of bad news after another - in regards to her health that is. She has been in and out of the hospital, and very scared. This has all taken a large toll on my family, especially my mother - as my father is busy dealing with his uncle who is suffering from a recurrence of his esophageal cancer.

I was never happy to be back in Maine, but I guess that I couldn't find a better reason to stay other than to spend time with/help my grandmother.

A and I are trying to make the most of our life here - we've gotten ourselves a new little kitty - Kiwi.... and she's an irritating, adorable ball of fur who I am madly in love with!

She is absolutely adorable and she follows me around the apartment and won't leave my side. She is also a little pig who wants nothing more than to eat her life away... thus we have been forced to child 'kitty' proof all of our cabinets so that she cannot gorge herself on food.

Last week we finally bought tickets to take a holiday, which I'm looking forward to more than you can even imagine! We are going to spend two wonderful weeks travelling around Malaysia and Singapore ... and I CANNOT WAIT!

This weekend we are going down to RI for my friend's (Narith and Vathana) wedding. A and I have purchased all new clothing as we didn't have anything to wear, and we've gotten a hotel room in Warwick.

Other than the above, nothing much is new... but I promise that I am going to try to be better at keeping this all updated!!!!

*Long Weekend*

We had a nice long weekend, we put up our Christmas lights, and our tree (aka a rosemary bush... it's awesome, we can eat our tree!), watched some pretty great movies (may I recommend the French film "The Visitor".... soooo funny!).

I think we really needed the time off together. Anthony is going to try and switch shifts with someone at work, so that he can have Sunday’s off, and he’ll work Monday’s instead… hopefully someone will want to switch! I think they would, it’s the holiday season, and there’s more money to be made on a Sunday than on a Monday… at least I would think.

…. Sushi tonight… I think… :)

It's time to hibernate

It is official - I will not be going outside again until April (discounting the time it takes to run from building to car, and back to building again). It has started snowing... and that makes me want to cry... a LOT.

As if I wasn't yearning for Oz enough... oh how I miss the warm days and nights... and that amazing tropical breeze.

Thanksgiving...

Well, I don’t imagine that anyone is aware of the blog I’ve been writing for a few years – it’s more personal that it is public. Anyhoo – I have decided that I would like to start up a public blog, so that I can have a location to share life updates, and post photos… etc. I don’t know if anyone is terribly interested, but I’m doing it anyway!

So, count down to Thanksgiving I suppose… it is my least favourite holiday of them all. I don’t really understand what happened to what could have been a wonderful holiday. It should be a day of giving thanks and appreciating all that we have – instead, it is a day where the nation competes to see how much food on individual can consume in one day without exploding all over the walls. This not only bothers me because it is a physical representation of this nation’s gluttony – but also because there are people starving all OVER the world… it seems to me like we would do a better job of giving thanks if we fasted for the day. Thousands and THOUSANDS of turkeys are killed (and you all know how I feel about that), and wince it takes about 8 lbs of grain to raise 1 lb of turkey – we are only increasing the world’s hunger. I also feel like Thanksgiving celebrates a time that marks the end of the United States as it ‘should’ have been. If you took some pilgrims and showed them the US today – I don’t think they would be very pleased with what has transpired over these hundreds of years. I will refrain from delving into my personal qualms with this country – and just say that there is a lot that makes me sad and dissapointed.

Anthony and I have not really decided HOW we’re going to spend the holiday – but we do know that we’re not going to my family’s celebration (much to their horror) so we’ve gotten more ‘guilt’ calls from the fam. than two people should have to tolerate! I did make a pumpkin pie – we went to a farm and bought some pumpkins, roasted it and pureed it and used it to make a WONDERFUL vegan, gluten free pumpkin pie. I found a fantastic gluten free crust recipe – it ISN’T crumbly! (For those of you who stick to the gluten free diet – you’ll know how wonderful this is) I think that A and I will probably be renting some foreign films, and maybe taking a hike in the afternoon. Truth be told, we are really just happy to have a day off together – I think we’re each starting to forget what the other looks like in daylight!

Ok, well… I reckon that this is the end up ‘public blog post 1’ – and I guess I’ll just see how it all goes.

PS – I’m suffering from a very serious case of “missing Oz” today… *weep*